Mittwoch, 1. Juni 2016


Boom, I just felt like it's time to relaunch this blog.
And yeah, it's a relaunch indeed, you might almost call it a rebirth. 

Why? Here is a quick summary of what happened.
So, its been four month now, since I almost killed myself in a terrible ski accident in Les Arces, France. After falling down some cliffs I ended up with a traumatic brain injury, a punctured lunge, several broken ribs, broken heel, broken collar bone...  Well, the most dangerous thing was my brain and therefore they had to put me in an induced coma to keep me alive. At first they planned to wake me up again soon, but my lunge injury caused some blooding and an infection, so they had to keep me in coma until it gets better. I finally woke up three weeks later, they said it was really lucky, I could have stayed in this coma for a few weeks/ months more...

I didn't ask to much questions about what happened, resuming this now, I guess I was not capable of understanding at that point. During coma a dreamed crazy shit, that I drove home again, partied, got arrested at a party (I guess caused by one of the episodes I had during they had to hold me down in a wake up process that went wrong so I won't rip out all the needles and shit)
So, waking up was super weird.  I didn't know where I was and why I was there. I could not remember a thing from the accident, I thought everything was alright, but I could barely move my hands or legs. I still didn't know what happened on this first day/night when I woke up, I guess I was still pretty high on all the drugs they pumped into my system for three weeks straight, crazy trip I tell you guys.

The first thing that seemed like reality again was, when my beautiful girlfriend Victoria stood besides me at some point and went crazy about me being awake. Everything that happened during that time period is really blurry, but I felt kind of normal and was just happy to see her. The doctors said that they tried to wake me up three times before, but it was always to dangerous and then they told my family it could take muuuch longer. But suddenly I showed vital signs by myself, which they said is pretty rare and they were able to wake me up on Victoria's last day in France before she needed to head back to the US. I truly believe that the reason I woke up was her voice and her presence. I will never be able to pay back what you did for me, Thank you!

By the way: This is how I looked three days after i woke up, you guys don't want to imagine how I looked during coma or on the first day...  and yes, those guys just shaved my head without my permission...

As I already said, it was a crazy time after waking up. Especially because I was in fucking France and I didn't know why and none of those frenchmen spoke english, haha. 
Victoria finally explained everything to me and showed me the video of the crash and then I started to realize what happened. But I was still so far from understanding what big of a deal that whole thing was for so many people, my family, my friends ..
Victoria ended up staying two more nights which was awesome, but she needed to get back to the States in order to train for olympic trials.
It was tough to say goodbye, but it was necessary. The cool thing was that I already made friends with the nurses and doctors in the intensive care station and so we just gave a shit on visiting hours and spent her last night together in my intensive care bed, which was kind of the most illegal thing you can do there :)

During the daytime the doctors and nurses always came checking on me and seemed like they couldn't believe how well I'm already and we were joking around and having fun together. At the same time I figured out a little french and there was also one doctor from Spain with whom I was able to practice some of my Spanish I learned in Central and South America last summer. Finally I realized that the nurses and docs were just super stoked that one of the patients is actually not suffering a big brain damage or ends up with a sheet over his head. I still remember the beeping from the machines there... it's not one of the good memories.

After three more days I was able to leave the Grenoble hospital and they flew me to a hospital in Salzburg, finally I was closer to my family and friends. This was a big day for me, I was really looking forward to get back to Austria and see everybody again. From the first day on a large number of people came to visit, which was super nice and gave me a lot of strength to fight through this and stay positive. 

I was also able to use my phone again and started to realize what happened during I was gone. I saw personal videos, an uncountable number of emails, postcards, facebook messages... Seeing all this helped so much to come back to a normal life, I felt so loved and I'm so grateful for all you guys and all your thoughts. All my sponsors, even the CEO's emailed me, people from around the world, I think this huge amount of love saved me and encouraged me to come back even faster.


Still, it was an unbelievable hard time for me. All the messages and visits for sure helped so much, but this weeks have been the toughest I've ever had. At some point I got super depressed, just wanted to get out of hospital and live a normal life again, walk wherever I want to be, but it just seemed so impossible. I feel super emotional right now when I think about that period and I'm happy I pushed through it. Now I can look back and say that the whole experience made me so much stronger and taught me to appreciate life even more. I'm happy to be alive and more than ready for new adventures.That whole thing is not over at all yet, I still need a lot of therapy and my body needs to recover, but I regained most of my energy and I don't feel like a victim anymore.

This was maybe the biggest step for me, to realize that searching excuses for why I can't do this and that is just the easiest way to live life. But as soon as you decide that you are not a victim anymore a new life starts. With way more strength and greater than you could have ever imagined.

Turbulent times result in growth!

Thank you family, friends, sponsors, doctors and nurses and all you guys who read this, I love you all

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